Having a baby is one of those experiences that people get to share with the people they love the most. If you have a female best friend who wants to be a mother, then you’re a part of the people who she will be sharing that experience with.
However, like with everything in life, having to deal with a pregnant friend for the first time can be weird. Pregnancy changes people. Not only because there’s a new person to worry about – the unborn child, but because the body produces different hormones in pregnant women. Changes in your pregnant friend should not discourage you, though. During the months leading to her giving birth, she will need the help and support of everyone around, including you.
In this article, we’ll be covering all the important things a BFF should know about having a pregnant friend.
Congratulating Your Best Friend on Her Pregnancy
So, your friend has just informed you that she’s pregnant. How do you go about congratulating her? For the uninitiated, this can be a reason for slight worry. After all, you’ve never done this before.
Since she’s pregnant, a number of your activities may now be deemed unsafe for her. For instance, if you are both regular drinkers or smokers, both activities should not be considered as they are unsafe for both mother and child. This may also affect the time you spend together as she will not be able to tag along for some other fun activities.
So, what are fun ways you can congratulate her? We have a few ideas we think might help:
- Get Her A gift:
This is typically the first option a lot of people go for. Getting a congratulatory gift can be a bit tricky as baby gifts are not traditionally gotten until much later after the gender of the child has been ascertained. However, if you want to get baby stuff as a congratulatory gift, you should go for a gender-neutral gift. Most baby toys qualify as gender-neutral, but if you’re going with clothes, it’s best you stick to onesies. You can click this link to find funny, cool onesies that your friend would appreciate.
An awesome non-baby gift you can give your BFF is mom-merch. Whether she’s a first-time mom or not, the merch can help her proudly show off her status as an expectant mom. You can also get her a beautiful maternity gown that makes her pregnant figure look great.
- Book A Spa Day
Everyone loves a spa day because they’re a great opportunity to relax. Amidst all the excitement, pregnancy does take a toll on a woman’s body. Arranging for a spa day is an excellent way for you to spend time with her while she’s pregnant. You should, however, make sure that your spa of choice has treatments that are friendly for pregnant women before booking.
- Book A photoshoot
Is your bestie a picture person? If the answer to that is yes, then you should be thinking of organizing an Instagram-worthy shoot for her. You may not need to do more than just booking a photographer and letting her know. If you want to surprise her with the shoot, you might also need to get dresses too. However, in the case of a surprise shoot, you should make sure to know her schedule before making the booking.
- Buy Her Dinner
If you have a favorite restaurant or a place you’ve been hoping to try out, this would be a great time to do that with her. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top, just a fancy meal with non-alcoholic drinks to let her know you’re happy for her.
If she has a partner, you may want to book a dinner date for them as a gesture of goodwill. Although this may mean that they will have to pay for a baby sitter if they have other kids.
Things You Can Do to Help
Although childbearing is great, the pregnancy period can be very taking for the mother-to-be. It’s at that point she needs your help the most. Here are a couple of ways to support her:
- Be available: Even if she has a partner, having other people around is helpful. You should make time out to visit her often, especially if you’re not separated by a far distance. This will help you keep up with her progress. The alternative for those separated by distance is to communicate frequently via digital channels. Let her know that if she ever needs someone to talk to, you’d be there for her. You may need to help her with some errands or even accompany her to see the doctor one day.
- Help her make lists: It’s easy to think that pregnant women, especially those that planned for the baby, have everything figured out. Unfortunately, it’s very far from the truth. Pregnant women have to deal with a lot of internal changes in their bodies and may not be conscious of things they ordinarily would not have missed. You can help her draw up her maternity lists and, perhaps, even help get them.
- Listen to her: Hormonal and bodily changes mean that pregnant women are likely to obsess over small issues. As a good friend, you should provide a listening ear for your friend’s complaints and concerns. Even if some of them seem irrelevant, your just listening can have a calming effect on her.
- Help her Relax: Many studies have shown that it is healthy for pregnant women to keep working till late into their third trimester. While the studies are true, getting adequate rest is also important for a healthy pregnancy. If you have a workaholic friend, you may have to take some steps to help her rest. Helping with house chores and booking a spa day are all subtle ways of forcing her to relax.
Organizing a Baby Shower
Typically, the mother-to-be chooses the organizer of the baby shower, and in most cases, it’s someone from her inner circle. This, however, doesn’t mean that she will choose you to plan it. She may think that a family member, or maybe another friend, is a better choice. It’s her choice to make and has no bearing on her relationship with you. However, if you do get called upon to organize the baby shower, here are a few things you should know:
- You need to start planning immediately: baby showers typically require a lot of scheduling. So, even if you have a couple of months before it comes up, it pays to start planning immediately. A lot of the attendees will be close family and friends, and you have to make sure that you put out the details of the shower long enough for them to prepare for it.
- Mommy is always right: The mother-to-be, in this case, your BFF, calls the shot for the baby shower. While baby showers initially began as surprise parties for pregnant moms, a couple of ugly experiences have led to the reversal of that. To be on the safe side, consult your BFF on all major decisions as regards the shower, e.g., guests, food, gifts, guests, etc.
- Keep the party decorations simple and chic: the designs for baby showers tend to be simplistic these days. They are single-day events, and the items used may never be used again. Hence it makes no sense to expend a lot getting them.
- Games can be tricky: It’s normal for baby showers to have games. However, that tradition is dying fast. The reason is that they can easily isolate some attendees or, worse still, offend them. If you’re going to play games at the baby shower, make sure they are event-appropriate and inclusive.
- You’ll have to provide food and drinks for the attendees, so you have to be careful about their preferences. You may also need to make sure that the foods offered on that day are inclusive of different dietary choices.
- Gifts are another potential problem point: Consult with the mother-to-be on how she wants to go about handling gifts at the event. Some families use gift registries, while others prefer a blind donation. Whichever they choose to go with, your role is to be supportive of them. As regards the opening of gifts at the event, that is almost always a bad idea.
Conclusion
Having a pregnant friend can be a strange experience, especially if you’ve never been pregnant yourself. However, with empathy and a willingness to help, you can make the best out of it. Being helpful to your friend is not going to come without its challenges. There are times when her raging hormones may make her irritable or depressed. You will have to exercise some patience in those situations. Hopefully, you are such a great friend that your BFF decides to name her child after you. We’re signing off this article by wishing your friend a safe delivery and the both of you a friendship that lasts forever.
